19 Sep 2011

The Moniker Of The Racist Man Who Borrowed $5 And Tried To Make It $10



I spent a great deal of time nibbling on what’s left of my pen trying to come up with the perfect moniker for my blog.

The Kombi Chronicles, no, too confining, I would have to stick to writing about my daily bus rides. This would prove very difficult because sometimes I am lucky enough to get a ride in a car. Why just the other day I was in a taxi, paid $8.00 for it. Quite a lot for a girl who complains about a $1.00 innit?

The Life and Times of V, a bit childish, well that’s because I got it from The Life and Times of Juniper Lee that fabled children’s classic. I like it. And that’s why I dropped it. Something that fantastic is bound to get boring after a time.

 These two titles popped into my head, in rapid fire succession and then after that which is now...absolutely nothing. Not so much as a squeak from that brain of mine which never seems to run out of thoughts. Oh well I’m sure someone else will come up with something. And when that happens I will pounce, beat the living daylights out of them and steal their idea. Oh and don't forget to imagine me running off whilst cackling like ummmm some really evil dude.

N sent me a text just now, complaining about some guy called Anthony who thinks black people are idiots (he is white), oh and he seems to always qualify that by adding I am not racist. A bit racist I think to be adding that after every sentence, no wonder black people don't like white folk (that’s racist), but still go around calling them boss, madam. I bet you if one of them called black people kaffirs at least one of them would say, "Yes bas" and walk away because he added "I am not racist."

I loaned one of my co-workers money some time ago $5 bucks it was, I didn't want to. But he said it was an investment, a good one at that. I said no, he said please, I said no, he got down on one knee, I told him I didn't have, and he knew I did. So because I think highly of my pocket I handed it to him with a smile and a smirk. I smiled because he said,
"Thanks V will pay you back next week, I’ll even double it"
That was the investment part.
That was a month ago.
Now every time I see him we have the same conversation about the 5-dollar-note-that-became-ten. I say hi, he looks away, I say hi again. He eventually says hi back, and then I ask him where the money is. He asks me what money? Ok. I stop surprised, but I recover quickly and remind him about the magic fiver I gave him. At this point he introduces one of his dead relatives, I am waiting for him to start killing off his pets and livestock.
"My goat died I had to bury it...sorry."
"See I have this cow, and the other day..."
"My dog has the most terrible cough..."

It is only prudent that I write this 5 off, to think I’d even begun to think of it as a ten... hanging my head in shame I walk off. Well not really, I’m still sitting here, so imagine I am.


Oh before i completely fade from that imaginary walking away, I have to tell you something very important I learnt today. Some of you maybe thinking that threatening your partner is warped, but let's keep it real and admit that human relationships tend to be warped already so whilst you spend money and attention on them. Throw in the fist or two or three or four. Kick butt!








6 comments:

  1. inga wani ur good at writing off debts..i remember u wrote of my irrecovable bad debt...$60 bx i think it was

    ReplyDelete
  2. $60 are you sure i said i would pay it back? because if i did, i was desperate and lied

    ReplyDelete
  3. you sir, will probably be one of the few men that agree with me... threatening works

    ReplyDelete
  4. That, my dear was pleasant reading.That, my dear was pleasant reading.

    ReplyDelete