If you are me, explaining ceaselessly to your 6 year old sister why you aren’t married is tedious. Being cross examined by a 6 and 12 year old is slightly worse.
“V how old are you.”
(Mumbles appropriate age)
“How old is cousin V?” (Not to be confused with V me)
I mumble a number which makes her 2years younger. It takes N about an hour to figure this out. Large numbers are still a bit of a problem for her.
“But she’s having a baby, why aren’t you?”
“Well…” I struggle to find a response, 6year olds are robotically engineered and any question is most likely a double entendre.
“You see,” I continue in my best grown up voice, “she is married and I am not.”
Big N who is beginning to understand life a little better pipes in,
“But you are sooooo old when are you getting married? I am telling you, by this time next year all the boys will see you as an old maid.”
“But you have a boyfriend; doesn’t he want to marry you?” N whines
“You should move out and find your own house, and stop bothering mama when you get broke.”
“Your husband should take care of you; if i were as old as you are I would be so embarrassed if I wasn’t married.”
“Well I am getting married at 19 when my looks are still fresh like L; your looks V are fading…”
They went on like this for a further half hour, during which time I scowled, frowned, waggled my finger and tried to think if being called old was a good reason to give a spanking.
After they had gone, i grabbed a mirror and tried to see if any wrinkles were showing yet. Lucky for me they are still a long way off.