Guest Blogger 10: Bloggier Than Thou...

I do not know how I ended up doing this, but I know every time I thought about it I was filled with that type of dread that comes from knowing a lot is expected from you but you have absolutely nothing, zilch, nada to deliver.


Simply because the last time I composed anything I was proud to show to anyone was 8 years ago in English class – and boy, did I used to compose some mean pieces, if I say so myself.  

So for these two reasons, I dreaded sitting down to put words on paper again and secretly hoped Vulnavia would forget she commissioned me to write for her. Add the fact that I was not given a topic but merely told to write about ANYTHING...


[This was new ground for me because we always got topics to write about in High School, “What I did during the Holidays”, “A Day I will never forget” e.t.c.] …but I digress too much!

So after raking my brain for so long trying to get rid of my chronic writer’s blockthe epiphany I had been waiting for came. And so it goes...
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We all know about the age old sayings that try to tell us to look for substance rather than the physical in a person right? That is, their personality as opposed to their looks, to look for all that is holy, all that is pure, all that is ever-lasting:


“All that glitters is not gold”,


“Never judge a book by its cover”... etc.


And let us be frank, if you do not know these sayings and what they mean, then either you must have been one of the few that skipped aforementioned English class, never owned a Student's Companion or perhaps you are just a “girl X” as blogged by Tariro not too long ago.


Yes, again I digress. 

When speaking to my friends, I have always preached about my disregard for looks and the physical and how much I always look for a star personality in a person before I engage in any form of relationship. And truth be told, after waxing lyrical, I always leave these conversations feeling the better, more mature person.

Fast forward to June 2011. In this age of social networks most of us have ended up in larger social circles than we ever fathomed we could handle.  All it takes is a recommendation on these sites and before long, you are friends with someone you have never met before.


Luckily for me, it was not as random as this – I promise I do not spend my days adding each and every recommended friend on my Facebook or Twitter profile, my friend lists are testament to this! 

Philippa had been a friend of my best friend – and as you do, she had come up in quite a few conversations between my friend and I. I am sure I had come up in conversations between my friend and her because some time during the British Summer of 2011 Philippa and I became friends on Facebook.


And from the get-go we got on like a house on fire – it was like we had known each other all our lives, bar the fact that we knew more about each other than the average two people that strike up a friendship. 

We chatted about everything from politics, religion, the arts, the future, the past and everything in between – and very soon Philippa and I were on that WhatsApp swag, daily, hourly! And don't you dare think I have forgotten to wax lyrical about how good looking Philippa was.


In her Facebook photos she looked simply divine, always fashionable in the right clothes, hair always looking right and by the looks of it always in the ‘bestest’ looking sunglasses money could buy. You can see where this is going can't you, that is, she was not someone you’d be embarrassed with in public...

Very soon summer became winter and the party season was upon us. And my friends and I had one helluva season planned ahead of us cuz sure we like to partaaaay – eh – eh - eh!


One weekend, we all descended on Birmingham for a close friend's Birthday party... and my best friend had brought Philippa along by surprise.


I just could not believe my eyes – there she was in person, looking tight as ever, in her latest Prada sunglasses, adding mystique... This party weekend had taken a different turn and I knew there and then that a man was about to enjoy himself ten-fold. 

 The morning after the night before, after everyone had left, our smaller group of friends woke up as early as we could manage, to have brunch... .i.e. not early at all! And as I sat in the kitchen munching away heartily at my food, I heard Philippa and my friend coming downstairs to join us.


I will never forget the moment I lifted my head to give the warm, boy-like smile I had on my face. My friend and Philippa were in clear view, about to walk into the kitchen.... only that it was Philippa, without her big designer sunglasses. Philippa as life had left her after a seriously disfiguring disease had left her with a drooping eye-lid and another that could not open at all.


It is amazing how much racing the mind can do in shock!! My heart went South and when it reached South, it went south of South... and the noticeable effects of this were the wide-open eyes and awry smile that now occupied my face. To avoid an awkward situation I quickly remembered to put my smile back on and reminded myself to say


“Good Morning.” in the most jovial way possible.... and so I did as they walked in. 

That is my story.

Now shall we make this a story for all of us?

I am sure when you finished reading most of y’all took the holier than thou stance as I used to before the Philippa situation but allow me to twist this on you please.


How many people have you disregarded based on their looks alone? How did you know if said persons wouldn’t have been the most compatible in any form of relationship if you did not look beyond their looks? We all want the best looking partners yes, the one that looks good on the arm but are we sacrificing the true traits that I believe make a good and sound relationship? What should really be important to us? And is this achievable in this visual world?