Wild Dogs

I

 owe the gardener’s wife three bucks and live in perpetual fear that she will ask me for the money. In three weeks, she has not but I have noticed the way she looks at me, as if she wants to come over and talk to me, and ask for her money or something.

The other day i was hooting the car trying to get N to get out of the house when I saw her coming.  The thoughts that raced through my head ranged from a panicked scramble to get out the car through other door when it dawned on me that the windows were not tinted. So instead, I grabbed my bag and fumbled through it, looking for... something. I figured that if she asked me about it she would think that i had thought to pay her back myself.

Instead, she stuck her head into the car through a tiny opening in the window.

“Are you hooting for me?”

“Ummm no,” I rattled my bag, held it to my ear put it on my lap and resumed my rifling.

When I looked up, she was gone. I suppose it was because of the rain pelting on her.

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CNN reported last night, that after the Fukushima disaster a lot of animals were left behind. Almost a year later, these animals roam wild and free. Especially the dogs, which seem to have been reproducing like rabbits on Viagra. Incensed by the sight of these free animals, the reporter started with an emotional tirade.

“These animals, left behind have nobody to fend for them,” she sobbed into the camera. The camera then pulled out for a view of the dogs which seemed to me to be quite content frolicking around the now deserted neighbourhood.

 She finally managed to corner some man into agreeing with her that it was unnatural for animals to roam wild and free.

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In other CNN story an Italian captain ran his ship aground and abandoned ship before the passengers. Asked how it happened he jumble through various explanations.

Even though the coast guard insisted the rocks he hit were on the map, the captain refuted this by saying they were not adding.

“ I realise now that hitting them was a mistake though at the time it felt like a good idea, even when the ship was capsizing.”

He also explained that he had moved closer to land in order to wave at his friend who was on the beach and in so doing fallen off the boat, and couldn’t get back aboard even when the coast guard had insisted he should. His reason for not getting back on board was that he was meeting a woman on shore for an on land tryst.

Ah the Italians, I say this with a glass of wine in one hand and the remote control in the other. Who would have thought the world was so full of loons and there I was thinking my countrymen were extreme.