4 Aug 2011

cartoonish whiffs of kharma


Hwindi - (shona) an uncouth conductor

Karma is an Amazon of a bitch with a sense of humour. Everyone complains about how hwindis always manage to tuck them under their armpits and try as they may, to get away they never quite manage.

I felt sorry for myself the other day when I sat next to a fella who was hell bent on reading my eBook with me.
Mind you it was on my phone, which made it awkward when i had to scroll down before he was done reading.

Mind you the awkwardness of our situation was not helped by his insistence on breathing with his mouth open. Nothing wrong with that if you are familiar with oral hygiene or the occasional mouth wash.

With their foul mouths and the things they spurt you would think that once in a while a hapless mum/ wife/ aunt would at least take the time to rinse out their mouths with soap. but nobody bothers anymore everyone goes about their business not caring that once in a while you need to take that pail of soapy water and give your errant son...or daughter to make things fair, and give them a thorough washing out. 

To stretch their mouth wide and scrub out their tongue. Whilst you’re at it rinse out the hairs in their armpits. and if it’s not too much trouble maybe grab a pair of clippers and make sure that by the time you are done their as clean and hairless as a new born baby.
On to karma being the baddest bitch. Imagine my pleasure when this loud mouthed hwindi had the displeasure of being stuck in his cadre’s armpits (which i caught a whiff of every time the fella riding shotgun did a fidgeting act in the front seat and let a sweaty stinky draught come our way. I could almost see the yellow cartoonish whiffs coming from his armpits).

Try as he might the hapless fella couldn't get out of the armpits.

Imagine his consternation.
Imagine my glee.

The look on his face. Priceless. Utter and total anguish with the right mix of revulsion. His face mottled and near green- considering that he was a dark skinned brother that's saying a lot. The fact that he didn't puke, or heave also says a lot about him. Nobody could have been made of sterner stuff. Nobody could have been made of smellier stuff.
Kudos to him for surviving the 15 minute of pungency of that bus ride.
 Kudos to him for restoring my faith in the old adage, what goes around comes around: D 

4 comments:

  1. had a bad time with them ey?

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  2. I cn so relate to this.... for me social networks are kind of my make believe world... A place I cn be whoever i want to be at that time... I guess at times we get carried away and we forget that we might be hurting those important to us...

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  3. Your turn of phrase. Hilarious. I think i now have it. Write a novella about your everyday observations of people going bout their lives. I find your descriptions of people redolent of (ithysi?) Charles Dickens.ink i now have it. Write a novella about your everyday observations of people going bout their lives. I find your descriptions of people redolent of (ithysi?) Charles Dickens.

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