cartoonish whiffs of kharma
Hwindi - (shona) an
uncouth conductor
Karma is an Amazon
of a bitch with a sense of humour. Everyone complains about how
hwindis always manage to tuck them under their armpits and try as
they may, to get away they never quite manage.
I felt sorry
for myself the other day when I sat next to a
fella who was hell bent on reading my eBook with me.
Mind you it was on
my phone, which made it awkward when i had to scroll down before he was done
reading.
Mind you the
awkwardness of our situation was not helped by his insistence on
breathing with his mouth open. Nothing wrong with that if you are familiar with
oral hygiene or the occasional mouth wash.
With their foul
mouths and the things they spurt you would think that once in a while a hapless
mum/ wife/ aunt would at least take the time to rinse out their
mouths with soap. but nobody bothers anymore everyone goes about their business
not caring that once in a while you need to take that pail of soapy water and
give your errant son...or daughter to make things fair, and give them a
thorough washing out.
To stretch their
mouth wide and scrub out their tongue. Whilst you’re at it rinse out the hairs
in their armpits. and if it’s not too much trouble maybe grab a pair of
clippers and make sure that by the time you are done their
as clean and hairless as a new born baby.
On to karma being
the baddest bitch. Imagine my pleasure when this loud mouthed hwindi had the
displeasure of being stuck in his cadre’s armpits (which i caught
a whiff of every time the fella riding shotgun did a fidgeting act in
the front seat and let a sweaty stinky draught come our way. I could
almost see the yellow cartoonish whiffs coming from his armpits).
Try as he might the
hapless fella couldn't get out of the armpits.
Imagine
his consternation.
Imagine my glee.
The look on his
face. Priceless. Utter and total anguish with the right mix of revulsion. His
face mottled and near green- considering that he was a dark skinned
brother that's saying a lot. The fact that he didn't puke, or heave
also says a lot about him. Nobody could have been made of sterner stuff. Nobody
could have been made of smellier stuff.
Kudos to him for
surviving the 15 minute of pungency of that bus ride.
Kudos to him for restoring my faith in the old
adage, what
goes around comes around: D
had a bad time with them ey?
ReplyDeleteI cn so relate to this.... for me social networks are kind of my make believe world... A place I cn be whoever i want to be at that time... I guess at times we get carried away and we forget that we might be hurting those important to us...
ReplyDeletei am humbled
ReplyDeleteYour turn of phrase. Hilarious. I think i now have it. Write a novella about your everyday observations of people going bout their lives. I find your descriptions of people redolent of (ithysi?) Charles Dickens.ink i now have it. Write a novella about your everyday observations of people going bout their lives. I find your descriptions of people redolent of (ithysi?) Charles Dickens.
ReplyDelete