Pet Monsters

i have verbal diarrhea, which comes out through my hands. i say things and then i think later. lately i have been saying a lot of things. posting a lot. the best form of escapism. a thousand followers and all of them dote on me -except for my sister, but thats a story for another day.
so there i am social-networking. talking to my cyber crowd. there lost in my made up reality i forget all about the real world. about my real relationships.and the people that really matter. here they don't matter, hapless pawns i use to embellish my avatar. the fuel for my likes, my comments and my pokes. everybody wants to be friends with me. this is my reality.
it doesn't matter that i hurt the people that matter. this is the one place i get my flashing lights and my red carpet. the Picasso to the life i want, the spider to my social web. reeling them in. becoming their go to person. i love to be loved. i love to be referenced. to have them all come to me. their oracle.
i blame it on my childhood. noone noticed me, i was the scrawny little kid nobody paid any mind to. i sat  in the front row, did my homework in time. got my sums round. and voluntarily babysat the Grade 1s but i never became the teachers pat. filled with a child's hope i blamed it on my non existent prowess in the swimming pool. i said to myself, 'tomorrow i'll practise harder, swim faster. then she'll like me' 
but i never got it right, i'd do 2 strokes and stop. or so it seemed (only years later did i discover that my swimming was fantastic!), they would lap me still. the coach would scream and curse, till finally out of breath i emerged under him, shivering cowering.
so let me glory and swim hard on my social network. there i become the teachers pet!


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