This is the third instalment of my guest series and I must say this is my absolute favourite so far. It has all the fine things I am not brave enough to talk about, let alone blog. Thanks to Wadzie at...so far i only have her twitter page so go follow her here . However feel free to visit her blog AND follow it here
Last Date Blues
So we had waited six months...the religious side of me demanding an exercise in self control which I find unnecessary but hey, unlike my mother's generation I have no illusions about the role intercourse has in our relationships as a generation.
So we had the background music
...the lights dimmed low...
I’d made a personal note to myself to wear my best lingerie, splashed some flower bomb on me, my hair all done and soft, and he whispered,
“Baby i want u...”
As he carefully slipped my jeans off and then my t-shirt, the hurried stripping of youth held at bay. Then next my panties, he was already naked. Beautiful body ripped and in the dim light imposing.
The gentleness in his hands as he caressed me, my breasts. Then again whispered,
“You have the most beautiful breasts i have ever seen.”
And i smiled shyly as he unclipped my bra.
His face fell.
His jaw hanging low before he caught himself and in a broken voice.
“I thought your breasts were bigger.”
The invention called padded bras, my favourite invention ever...even more so than electricity because when i wore my first push up padded bra, the ironing board that my body was suddenly, was birthed into woman.
I spend $50 on just one bra for that effect and he finds it appropriate to mention how in real life i am a size 32a but have always looked like a 32c.
Sad to say, i didn't get laid due to my outrage and his disappointment.
My husband now laughs at me every morning as i put my bra on. He says I’m wearing my woman parts. I say I’m saving up for breast implants.
I am happy with my 32c by day and 32a naked, but it made for some really disappointing dates.
So this is for all the fakers, and all the plastic lovers, the boys still obsessed with boobs and the ironing board dreaming